Sarah Bennison has said that scholars define mattering as feeling valued and adding value. Seems pretty clear — but it takes work. 

Ms. Bennison, a faculty member at New York University and the founder of the nonprofit Mattering in Action, spoke at a convocation in the Olcott Center on Tuesday, September 22. She has a doctorate in history and education and more than 25 years of teaching and leadership experience. 

“It sounds so simple and intuitive, but so many people now feel that they don’t matter,” Ms. Bennison said in an interview before she addressed the students, faculty, and staff. Some people, she said, might feel they are appreciated but don’t have the opportunity to contribute to their community, school, or workplace. Some, she said, might feel they add value but are not recognized for the work they put in. 

“So it's the combination of both that is harder to achieve than one would think, even though it feels so intuitive,” she said.  

“What matters?” is the all-school question this school year.  And every step of the way during the convocation, Ms. Bennison stressed that each of us matters. 

During the convocation she discussed ways that mattering relates to people’s mental health and wellbeing. She cited studies that focused on three core components of mattering: attention, as in whether a person feels seen, noticed, attended to; importance, as in whether they feel they genuinely matter to others; and reliance, as in whether others depend on them and count on their contributions. 

“Aside from our basic need for food and shelter, the most basic human need everyone shares is our need to matter,” she reminded her audience. “Tell people in your life how important they are.” You don’t necessarily have to recite any particular words, she said. There are plenty of ways to tell someone they matter. 

One way is allowing them to matter. “Relying on people around us is a huge component of allowing others to feel like they matter,” Ms. Bennsion said. “Next time you worry about asking for help, think how great it feels when some needs you.” 

She also challenged her listeners to reflect. 

“I want each of you to think today, what innate gift do you have that does not show up on your resume?” Ms. Bennison said. She urged her audience to ask themselves, has anyone called you in the last year asking if you can listen to a problem they have? Has someone asked for your help fixing something?  

“Those are innate gifts. ... Every single one of you has them,” she continued. “I want you reflect today on what you bring to the world that is not on your resume.” 

Before she came to campus Ms. Bennison had said that she hoped to inspire action that deepens the work already happening at a school such as Loomis Chaffee. She said she wanted to ignite ideas and imagination. She left behind tools.   

Find a gift. Find a need. Find a task. 

Needs are all around us, and they do not have to be big, she said. Filling a small need has a ripple effect. Once the need is identified, do something about it. That, she said, is how you put mattering into action.