Before the students arrived for the convocation on Monday, September 30, speaker Max Stossel said his goal for the day was that “they leave being more intentional about their technology and social media use, that they think about whether they are using technology or it is using them, and that they come away with a different understanding of how social media impacts their lives and relationships.” 

Mr. Stossel is the founder and chief executive officer of Social Awakening, an organization “dedicated to helping young people survive and thrive in the modern world.” 

With the students now in their seats in the Olcott Center — no phones allowed — Mr. Stossel gave a rapid-fire presentation as part of the Hubbard Speaker Series, made possible by a gift from Robert P. Hubbard ’47.    

Mr. Stossel once was on the other side, working in the social media world, including designing notifications to distract users. That, he said, allows him to present from the “perspective of someone who understands the technology and the apps as opposed to just another adult wagging fingers at them.” 

His presentation — “We’ve Been Sneaking Into Your Brains” — was about the ways technology is used by companies to be addictive and distracting. He also provided some tools to combat the technology. 

“Am I using this tool, or is this toll using me?” he said to those gathered. “Am I here on purpose or did I just get used to make other people some money? ... One helpful way of figuring that out in our own lives is to ask ourselves the question, ‘Which apps and games make me feel good during and after, and which make me not feel good during and after?’” 

Mr. Stossel said he was a “gamer” growing up. He’d play Halo four hours at a time. 

“If you asked me if I liked Halo, I’d be, ‘Yeah, I like Halo,’” he said. “If you asked me how it made me feel during and after, that would have been a better question because for the first hour [I was] into it, having a good time, but for the next three hours I was stressed and angry trying to get to the next level, and then afterward [I had] this drained and empty feeling of what just happened. If you’ve ever scrolled a lot on social media, you can probably relate to that after-feeling of ‘what just happened?’. So focusing not just on ‘Do I like this stuff?’ but ‘How do I feel during and especially after?’ is really helpful in navigating this.” 

At one point Mr. Stossel challenged the students to get rid of an app that pulls them into a black hole for hours. When he asked students for examples of these apps, one student mentioned getting lost in Instagram Reels. 

A tool that can help resist the pull of apps like this, Mr. Stossel said, is One Sec. The app says it “gives you the chance to pause and think twice — before you get sucked into an endless loophole designed to draw you in for hours.” 

Mr. Stossel talked about how easy it is to pull out the phone because we think we are bored or because we want to be distracted from an issue. That issue, he said, will still be there once we put down the phone. Getting through issues and coming out on the other side makes someone stronger, he noted. 

Mr. Stossel was scheduled to do a video Q&A with Loomis parents on this topic on Monday evening. 

In addition to working with schools, students, and parents to address the pitfalls of technology, Mr. Stossel also is an award-winning poet, filmmaker, and storyteller. After the convocation he visited an English class to talk about storytelling. The Power of Storytelling is the theme at Loomis Chaffee this year.  

Mr. Stossel is drawn to telling stories that “reveal deeper truths and understanding about ourselves and the world,” he said in an interview before the convocation. 

The story he told at the convocation was about the impact of social media — not all of it bad, he said. 

“If you were able to tell us 100 years ago we could have face-to-face conversations across oceans, our ancestors would have had their minds absolutely blown,” he said.  

“I personally have no idea where I am going if the blue dots do not line up on the map,” he continued. “I’m thankful for that one. We have a camera, a stopwatch, a calculator, a flashlight, and every song ever invented in our pocket. That is magic. We have a magical device in our pockets. So how with this magical device are we seeing such an increase in stress and anxiety, depression, chaos, conflict? How can something so awesome also be making such a mess?” 

He then did his best to answer that question, sending everyone away with plenty to think about.